I was recently invited to and took part in, a Spring Equinox celebration. This was only my second time participating with this particular group, and by the time of my second, we had almost doubled in size. We have an email chain where we communicate between each gathering, and everyone excitedly offers to discuss things they want to incorporate, deities they would like to invite, and ways that they celebrate that they want to teach others. This group is so welcoming to new ideas and new people, a truly magical space. There was one place that seemed less than inclusive, and this was with the non-female members of the group. 

  To be clear, I don’t believe these people meant any harm by this. I simply don’t think they realized what they were saying would make some of the group feel ostracized. Some were saying that they were so excited to have a “Woman’s group”, and even after we all introduced ourselves, a few members added that they use he/him or they/them pronouns. Some of the rituals still seemed very female-centered. 

  Out of all of the communities and spaces available - The spiritual and witchcraft communities should always feel safe and inviting to people from all walks of life. With an extended history of being ostracized, I feel that it is imperative that these communities be welcoming, supportive, and stand up for others who are currently in that position. 

Understanding Diversity:

  Gender is fluid, and is not strictly male or female. This is even apparent in someone like me. I was born female, and identify the same. This doesn’t mean that everything about me is what could be categorized as “feminine”. I will even jokingly say things like “I only drink beer and whiskey because I’m a man.” - I do not identify as a man, but there are aspects of my personality and interests that I have that would traditionally be considered more “masculine”. 

  Some women are born with penises and men that are born with vaginas. They know down to their core that the bits between their legs do not define who they are as a person. Some people fluctuate between male and female - or don’t feel like they belong to either. Using the pronouns they/them helps them express that. 

 If you are having a hard time wrapping your head around the concept, you can think of this based on religion. Most of those who are drawn to alternative spirituality and witchcraft did not grow up in this environment. Being born into a home that has a specific religion or belief system does not equate to having to share that same religion or belief system. You have the ability to find what works best for you. 

  This same concept is applied to gender. Those who are transgender were born into a body that did not work for them. They were given gender labels that did not fit who they were. They have the ability and the right to choose something that better fits who they are as a person. 

Creating Safe Spaces:

Define what a safe space means within the context of spiritual communities, emphasizing a supportive environment where all individuals feel respected, welcomed, and valued.

Highlight the importance of creating safe spaces that embrace diversity, including gender diversity, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, and other aspects of identity.

 How do you make sure your community or gathering is a safe space? 

• Be gender-neutral: When you are planning a ritual, celebration, or gathering - keep it from being gender-based. You can do this very easily. Say you are going to recite a chant as a group and change any gendered pronouns to they/them. It makes more sense to use they/them in a group anyway as we aren’t lifting up a singular person, we are lifting the group.

• Be accepting: If someone tells you what their pronouns are, just accept it. It’s that simple.

• Be respectful: Respect that this is the identity they have chosen for themselves. Their body, their life, their choice. 

• Correct yourself when needed: Slip-ups happen. If you do accidentally misgender someone, it’s not the end of the world. Correct yourself, apologize, and move on. We are hard-wired with male and female biases, and it takes time to unlearn. Trust me, they will understand and forgive you. 

  I have a hard time speaking on this subject, and that has nothing to do with my not being completely in support of the transgender community. I have the same hesitance with other marginalized communities that I, personally, am not a part of. I tend to be the advocate who lifts the voices of those in the community, but not identifying myself as a “spokesperson” for the cause. I see myself as the amplifier, not the one doing the speaking. 

  I wrote this post to stand with the transgender community. I wrote everything to the best of my knowledge, and my personal understanding. Being I am not a member of the transgender community, I know that my understanding is limited. I gain knowledge from the stories of others, both strangers and my loved ones. 

  To those reading this that are transgender, 

You are loved. You are wanted. You are valid. You are perfect. And you are always welcome here.